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Ian Austin seeks legal action against Twitter trolls

Conservative politican has been dogged by months' long smear campaign

A smiling grey-haired man in glasses and a dark suit holding a Guide Dogs leaflet, standing next to a smiling older woman in a lilac jumper and floral skirt with a yellow Labrador guide dog in a hi-vis harness, in front of a Guide Dogs banner reading "Open doors for guide dog owners by ending illegal access refusals #AccessAllAreas" and "Assistance dogs welcome"

Ian Austin with his girlfriend

Former Labour MP and current Conservative Party activist Ian Austin has announced he has begun defamation proceedings against several trolls on Twitter who he claims have led a relentless campaign accusing him of engaging in bestiality, specifically that he regularly has sexual intercourse with dogs, something he strenuously denies.

Screenshots seen by this paper that are too upsetting to print show how ever more graphic and disturbing accusations against the ex-politician have become common currency on the mircoblogging site, with a coterie of so-called left sh*tposters leading the abuse.

grid of embedded tweets

Suck Dick For Socialism (@CastroSpunkGuzzler69): I saw @IanAustin1965 smear pedigree chum all over his balls and get a dog to lick it off, then he performed cunilingus on the terrified creature. I’ve never seen so much saliva, it was disgusting.
4:20 PM · Jun 14, 2020 · Twitter for Android

Cumunist Manifesto (@LeninLover420): i used to be a constituent in dudley and i once saw ian austin suck a dog dry before jizzing all over the poor animal. please do something @RSPCA_official
19:23 · Jun 16, 2020 · Twitter for Android

Lets Mao All The Landlords (@ChairpersonLmao): I’m a vet and if I’d a pound for every dog’s arsehole I’ve sown up after @IanAustin1965 has been at them I’d be a millionaire.
12:38 PM · Mar 20, 2020 · Twitter for Android

ShitcanSteve (@ShitcanSteve): Look I’m not saying that Ian Austin tirelessly and effectively kicks in the back door of every pound shop pup he sees. What I am saying is that he straight up is a dog nonce.
12:18 PM · May 20, 2020 · Twitter for Android

No Harm To Her (@IraOnDeBlob): What is Ian Austin’s favorite sexual position? Getting pegged by a german shepherd.
2:38 PM · Apr 24, 2020 · Twitter for Android

The call is coming from inside the bunker (@HauntedHoxhaist): The girlfriend mentioned in the caption at the top of this article is the guide dog.
6:40 PM · Apr 11, 2020

A selection of the abusive tweets that were too shocking for us to publish

“I’ve kept my silence on this for too long but enough is enough. I’ve even tried reaching out with polite DMs to explain to these hard left, ultra-Corbynista, bedroom-dwelling troglodytes how hurtful what they’re doing is but often they either ignore my pleas or just reply with ‘dog nonce’ or ‘Michael Gove’. I’m just thankful the spelling of my name has spared me the indignity of a spoonerisation, that really would be too much.”

embedded Twitter DM

Ian Austin: Listen here @chairmanmaopissdrinker69, don’t you fucking ever tweet those lies about me again. If you ever so much a think about me in connection with fucking dogs I will fucking sue you absolute fucking cunt. This is your one and only warning, you little prick. Mess with me again and you will fucking regret it. (3:55 PM)

You accepted the request

Me: i’m sorry, a bigger boy made me do it (3:57 PM ✓)

Mr Austin attempted to reach out to the trolls and politely ask them to stop

We reached out to Austin’s lawyer who is pursuing the case, Mingley Peefaffe of Slaughter and Mayme. Over a long and rambling phone conversation he tried out some new comedy material and, bizarrely, asked how to set up Fortnite… twice. Eventually, after much back and forth he was able to produce a somewhat coherent statement, “I am familiar with many of these basement-dwelling, cum-into a-sock-you-kiss-at-night-and-call-it-Julia trolls and let me tell you something: they can only hide behind anonymity for so long but I will thumb this case open as one would do with a milk cartoon…or an anus.”